My last night’s dream had a voice-over. How screwed up is that?
And it was snarky. Like at TWOP. I need to face more of this thing called reality other people keep telling me about.

Where can I meet it?

I’m rich! I’m rich!

Okay, I’m not really rich, but I got paid, and not too bad. Now that I’m married I have to pay less taxes and since they couldn’t arrange it last month I got paid extra-much. So my account got a 2,000 Euro boost.

I’m rich! I’m rich!

Well of course there’s the rent to pay and a couple of other things like my monthly ticket, my cell-phone bill and my credit card. And my account also wasn’t exactly balanced since I bought my new baby.

I’m rich! I’m rich!

It still leaves me with enough money to feel good about myself. I’m not too material, but I’ve lived with too little money long enough to cherish my life now that I don’t need to care about money that much anymore and can buy nice useless things without feeling bad about it right away.

I’m so gonna order Firefly right now. And that Estonian CD I want so badly. Yes, Estonian.

1. Crowd – Lots of people.
2. Hamburger – McDonalds (yes, I am that simple).
3. Choker – On a hamburge maybe?
4. Lights – Bright.
5. Tinsel – Tinseltown.
6. Testament – Old and new.
7. Best part of the day – Coming Home.
8. Election – Reese Witherspoon.
9. Clarinet – Three years of lessons.
10. Dead sea – for non-swimmers.

Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun… just click here.

Cowards! The cowards dubbed ‚The Apprentice‘. They dubbed the Donald. What are they? Insane? Or just common idiots?

The worst thing is that (obviously) there are a lot of desperate and/or broke dubbing speakers in this country who will do anything including dubbing ‚The Apprentice‘. Which also includes dubbing Omarosa and the other bunchof psychos, just to give you an illustration of how desperate they must be exactly.
And then these dubbing speakers aren’t desperate and/or broke for no reason. Because they’re really really bad. I guess that usually they only get to dub porn. And that’s what ‚The Apprentice‘ sounds like here, like a really bad soft porn movie.

It doesn’t help my mental health to have the picture of all the candidates suddenly going for each other. I need to get that picture out of my head. So if you’ll excuse me: I’m going to bed now, having nightmares.

PS: Did you ever notice that if you mistype „Scared“, which I do ever so often, there’s a big chance that it will turn out to be „Sacred“? I think it’s actually a good thing I always check my spelling before I publish my posts.

One of Germanys broadcasting companies RTL is showing ‚The Apprentice‘ starting tonight at 12:35 am. Strange time, yes. I believe they chose to show it that late in the evening because they figured the interest wouldn’t be that great. The German version of the Apprentice, ‚Big Boss‘, was pretty much crawling on the bottom of the ratings. There even was another version called ‚Hire or Fire‘ that was cancelled after just one episode.

But anyway, so far I’m okay with these plans. What I’m not okay with is that from all I have experienced in German television I’m pretty sure they are going to dub Donald and his friends and that’s everything but good. There are a few basic rules when it comes to TV and one of them is: Don’t dub a reality TV show. Because it never ever friggin‘ work. I’m already afraid of the strange voices and poor translations.

I’m nevertheless taking a peek tonight, because after all I want to see the damage done personally. And maybe I also have a tiny little bit of hope that they decided for subtitles after all. If they did, bravo.

Oh my, who am I kidding?

If there are any of those ‚Who of the Desperate Housewives Are You?‘ tests out there – and I bet there are quite a few – forget it. I’m not going to take anyone of them.

Today I finally decided that my new role model is Bree Van de Kamp. Because I want to be able to do all the things she can do.

What I don’t need: a cheating husband, a strange daughter and an apparently psycho son who wants to destroy me.
But the cooking, the sewing, the gardening, the nicely arranging the house and the looking great all the time. That I want to have.

Now while you watch my hair turn red you can go as well go to the balcony and watch my flowers die in the sun. I’m not even close yet.

Do you know that there is that moment when you go from tired to really tired to really fucking tired to wide awake? Well, I’m past that moment this night, so that explains why it’s 1:42 am and I don’t have the slightest intent to go to bed.

It all started with the husband suggesting to watch ‚The Perfect Storm‘ tonight. I had captured it on my computer, carefully edited the commercials out (so carefully the husband noticed but one of four cuts) and burned it on DVD. So I said okay.

After some time I turned to him and asked: ‚Is it just me or have we been watching this for 45 minutes already with nothing happening?‘
He told me no, it wasn’t just me.
Have you seen that movie? Honestly, there’s nothing of even the littlest interest happening in the first 45 to 60 minutes. They come back, they make out, they ship out and fish. That’s about what’s happening during the first hour.

Then comes the storm. And yes, it’s big. It’s windy, it’s stormy, there’s a lot of water and a lot of things breaking. That storm is huge. But I found that even the storm gets boring after some time. At least for me it did. And after a while I felt like shouting ‚Godammit. Sink the boat already and get it over with!‘ at my TV. We all know it’s gonna happen, so why not let it happen now?

Don’t get me wrong, that movie is good enough for one entertaining night on the couch and maybe some forwarding and rewinding to see those really huge waves, but apart from that. God, even Mark Wahlberg looked strangely ugly and I loved him in Boogie Nights. I loved the whole of Boogie Nights. Maybe I just should watch Boogie Nights next time. Because there’s a movie I enjoy every damn single time I watch it.

1. Sherry, The Four Seasons (I am a big fan of 60s pop and pretty damn proud of it.)
2. Body and Soul, Anita Baker (I think I never heard that song before. See, I can discover new music on my own computer.)
3. Something Beautiful, Robbie Williams (One of my favorites from Escapology.)
4. If Only She Knew, Michelle Branch (I think last Friday is repeating itself a little bit. But I don’t really mind. Let the good music keep coming.)
5. Sad Eyes, Bruce Springsteen (I’m not such a big Bruce Springsteen fan, but I really like that song. I also don’t know a lot of his songs.)
6. A Hundred Years From Today, Ethel Waters (Here comes the Jazz fraction. I really like that song.)
7. My Funny Valentine, Elvis Costello (The song is one of the husband’s favorites, the singer is one of my favorites. What a voice.)
8. Ricky Don’t Lose That Number, Steely Dan (I think today my eighties pop collection comes a little bit into focus.)
9. L’ombre et la lumière, Coralie Clément (You haven’t checked her out yet? Are you nuts?)
10. My Heart Belongs to Daddy, Mary Martin and some guy with his orchestra (I love Cole Porter’s songs. Pretty much all of them. That makes the fact that I haven’t seen ‚De-Lovely‘ yet even sadder. Sue me.)

It’s too hot. At least it is considering that it is only May.
We just got back from what-comes-closest-to-being-downtown-without-really-being-downtown and went a little grocery shopping. The groceries turned out to be a bottle of volvic flavored water (lemon this time), a bottle of orange lemonade, a bottle of sparkling water and a bottle of beer. And bread. I don’t think I will be eating anything tonight.

When I was younger I hated heat. I just got cranky when I had to be outside in the sun for too long. And I mean really cranky. Piss-off cranky if you like. Then I went to New York and was lucky enough to be there during the hottest summer ever (the year was 1999 and it was also the year John-John died and there supposedly was a mosquito plague haunting some parts of New York, though I never saw any of them) and for whatever reason I didn’t get cranky at all. That was actually the summer I learned to like heat. I may also be one of the few people who went to the USA for a longer time and actually lost weight. I learned that during great heats you lose your appetite and just go for everything that’s liquid and cool.

Then two years ago we had a heat wave here in Germany, too. I think it wasn’t as bad as it was in New York but you should know that most Germans are pretty much unaware of the technology called air condition. That is because we hardly ever need it, least in our private homes. So keeping that in mind, the heat wave here was pretty much as bad as what I experienced in New York. And I didn’t hate it at all.

I think the good thing about really bad heat waves is that you lose complete interest in everything besides coolness and liquid in all forms and I think it might even slow down your brain. You end up lying on the couch unable to move and/or think and honestly… doesn’t that make life a whole lot easier? Maybe I just have so much stuff on my mind that I enjoy the couple of days when my own body makes it impossible for me to care about other things than when I’m going to take the next shower and if I should restock the ice cubes in my freezer now or later.

It’s a blissful state of complete laziness and I choose to just surrender and enjoy it while it lasts.

I just saw the commercial for the German Idol and I am so close to downloading the application form. Now how pathetic is that?

But I think you can calm down. I still have a little bit of dignity left.