Every time I try to do what is widely known as shopping, it is a complete desaster. I seem unable to shop. I seem unable to enjoy shopping. Obviously I lack some girly feature which makes shopping enjoyable.

I had two goals today. Buy books and buy clothes. I was hopeful enough to think that I would at least achieve one of these goals. Guess what happened…
Exactly.

The books. I made a list of all the books recommended by my blog readers. I had a voucher worth 30 Euro from that one bookshop and vowed to spend it all on books from that list. Only that they had none of those books available. Well, they had Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City, but I already read that in German and I wanted to spend all 30 Euro or nothing. So I spent nothing and will go to the other store on Hohe Strasse next time to see if maybe they have at least some of the books from my list.
So much about my first defeat.

Then I went clothes shopping. Again. Because I’m not able to learn from my past mistakes. Or because I’m incredibly optimistic. Or both.

I was smart enough to look for the address of another Zara store and went there immediately. When I stepped in I was in heaven. No winter sales, or at least not solely winter sales. Matching blazers and trousers actually hanging next to each other. I was happy.

Until I tried some clothes on.

Let me tell you this straight: That fattish girl in the mirror was NOT me. I must know because I know me. I don’t look like that. It was a girl that looked a lot like me, I admit and happened to be in the same cubicle, coincidentally trying on the same clothes I picked, but she was at least 4 pounds heavier than I am.
That was not me.

Why is it that I look okay in every mirror in our apartment, but when it comes to trying on clothes in a store I look like I need to join the Weightwatchers immediately. Do they do something to the lights? To the mirror? Am I stepping not only into a cubicle but also into another dimension where everyone is fatter? Because I really don’t look like that. And that’s not hurt pride that’s stating a fact.

I also realized again that I seem unable to understand the concept that clothes come in different sizes and that I don’t fit in every one of them. When I see something I like I tend to grab the very first item and have to remind myself to look for the right size, too. Or I’ll end up in a cubicle with a pair of trousers size 36 which even with a constant holding your breath I will never fit in. I also never remember exactly which size I have. Which might be because my body is strange with sizes. I need at least a 40 for my trousers, but sometimes I can go with a skirt size 38. Also I have clothes ranging from size S to XL in my wardrobe which all fit.
(I have to admit that I only have one t-shirt size S in my drawer, and I suspect it’s because I bought it at H&M, where all the sizes are perfectly screwed up.)

I know now by the way, that I need to get real and realize that I need a size 42 when I buy trousers. Tragic, but true.

I also tried on two shirts, which magically made my boobs at least two sizes bigger. How can that be? Those were regular shirts. How could they do that? I honestly don’t need magical breast enlargements. But again I claim that that girl I saw in the mirror was not me.

That said I was exhausted and disappointed when I left the cubicle, so I couldn’t get myself to trying on anything else. I just got back to work, again empty handed and again with a vow never to go shopping again.

Oh, and guys at Zara: See you tomorrow.

I just wrote a post about an article I read online. It was about the fact that in Germany a lot of well-educated people don’t have children. I wrote my opinion about it, but then decided against publishing it and saved it as a draft for the time being.

Why won’t I publish this post?

There are several topics that I decided I won’t write about on my blog. In general those topics are politics, religion and things like that.

It’s not that I’m not interested in these topics or that I’m not interested in other people’s opinions. But I realized that these topics are fruitful ground for misunderstandings. In my experience discussing such difficult topics on the internet almost alwas goes wrong and is very likely to backfire. People end up insulting and hurting each other. Although I am pretty sure the people I know reading my blog are not very likely to be like that, I will do most anything to keep my blog free from joyless discussions. If that includes censoring myself on certain subjects, so be it.

So, what I wrote about that article I read will most likely stay a draft and be deleted after a while. I can live with that.

So, brando, see, I’m just like you. I let go of the snark, because I am honestly afraid to offend some stranger. Once again I get the feeling that I’m just too nice and harmony-addicted for this world.

Material world – Oh my,… Madonna. (What did you think?)
Satin sheets – I need to do the laundry.
Blizzard – Warcraft. And weather.
Real estate – Wish we had none.
Dress up – Clothes.
Wesley – Wyndam-Price. Hey, I just rewatched Buffy Season 3.
Robber – Go. Away.
Saliva – The word is grosser than the stuff itself.
Slave – Somehow images from Asterix comics pop up in my brain.
Shift – Yeah, I have three of those on my keyboard.

Again, you can take part and have a lot of fun… just click here.

Oh, how I love him.

He doesn’t vacuum, he takes the vacuum cleaner for a walk. He also talks to his vacuum cleaner, which I picked up and now I do it, too. ‚Good boy, good boy. Yes, we’re going for a walk now. There’s plenty for you to eat in the living room, ‚cause, you know, Jamie ate there.‘

He also talks to his bass. His bass faces the television, so that, you know, he isn’t bored when nobody plays with him. Better yet, the bass can talk back. Or it’s me playing single notes. The lowermost site is him growling. ‚What’s up, baby? Aren’t you happy? Yes, somebody will play with you VERY soon. Stop growling, now, stop growling.‘
Strum.

Is it just me or did they leave out about three quarters of the book when they made ‚Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban‘ into a movie?

Now I’m the greatest defender of movies based on books, but this… no. Just no. It’s not the fact that they left out parts. It’s that they left out so much that anyone who hasn’t read the books, e.g. the boyfriend, must feel completely confused.

‚I couldn’t really concentrate, so I think I missed something‘, he says.

‚No‘, says I. ‚It wasn’t you not being able to concentrate. It was them not giving any background information needed to get the plot.‘

I still like the movie, basically because Hermione kicks ass the whole time. (It’s not as good as her and Ginny somehow being the best characters and completely ruling the fifth book, but still.)
But I still think that I only could enjoy it the way I did, because I have actually read the book and knew the plot.

And thank heavens for the kids wearing normal clothes.

By the way, I copied this from imdb.com
The German subsidary of Warner Bros. tried to cut down the film (as they did with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)) to secure a more commercial „Not under 6“ rating. They submitted several versions but all were rejected by the German ratings board FSK for this rating. In the end the uncut version was released with a „Not under 12“ rating.

You don’t want to know what they did to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets here. I saw both versions and I felt like I was watching two completely different movies. Like, the one with the finale and the one with… yeah, no finale.
You also don’t want to know what they did to that new Peter Pan movie that came out last year or so. According to the German version, nobody died throughout the whole movie. They are really pushing those movies to a „Not under 6“ version here. At all cost. And fun it is not.

(On another side note, am I the only one who read Peter Pan and sympathized with Hook? Like all the time? Peter Pan is such an annoying brat. No wonder Hook wants him dead.)

We did it! Wediditwediditwedidit!
Well, we finally went to the registry office to get all the information we needed, which was close to nothing. Basically we have to get one document for the boyfriend, then show up with our IDs and choose a date. Oh, and don’t forget to bring the money. It’s not for free, after all.

So, if all goes as planned, we’ll get married in April. At least that’s when I would want it to happen. Remember, my grandmother’s birthday?

We got this nice flyer which holds all the information we supposedly need. Look at it and be happy for us. Or don’t look at it. You can still be happy for us, though.

Getting Married for Dummies

Apparently they’re starting to fight about where I will get to work after my training.
There has been an arrangement with the managers, so that all the trainees can stay here for three months after we have finished our training. Nobody can tell what will happen after these three months, if you’re really lucky can might get a time-based contract, but that’s not very likely to happen.

So, one of my bosses (it’s complicated, so don’t ask) already asked me if I would like to work on that project they have. Basically I had no other choice but to say yes, because I didn’t have any other options.

Today, Andreas got his things from his other desk up on 10th floor and told me that the guy he worked for there asked him whether he and I would like to work for the project they are currently working on.
He already sent a mail to one of the managers saying that he would like to get us to work on this project.
Even better, both projects are important enough to maybe get us (or me) another fixed-term contract.

Last week I had nothing and now they’re starting to fight over me.

Guys, I’m not that great. In fact, I’m pretty lazy and lack motivation most of the time. I’m only here for the money anyway.

Then again, let them fight. I’ll lean back and enjoy.

I just came back to work after a very unsatisfying trip downtown to get some clothes. I thought it was going to be easy. I was wrong.

See, living in an underprivileged country like Germany means certain limitations on shopping freedom. Like laws for closing times. And laws for sales. They kind of lowered the restrictions and are constantly working on lowering them even more, but somehow I got lost on the track. I thought they changed the laws on sales to that degree where every shop can have a sale any time, but even if I’m right, I discovered that the old habits still stick. Which means that we still have the traditional winter and summer sales, which are supposed to help the stores get rid of their winter resp. summer collections when nobody wants to buy them anymore.

They’re just having winter sales.

What I was planning to buy was easy. I calculated a total amount of time needed of approximately 30 to 40 minutes spent in the one clothes store I like best. I planned to walk in there, grab a few things I liked, try them on and hopefully walk out with what I liked best. I even planned to spend more money than usual. I need some business outfit that I can wear for job interviews and probably my orals next Wednesday. I was thinking a pair of trousers with a matching blazer. Possibly a new blouse. Couldn’t be too hard.

Did I mention they’re having winter sales?

This is what actually happened. The store I planned to go to is closed for the moment due to… something I forgot. But they have another store not too far, so I walked all the way down there to get what I wanted.
I walked in and naturally found a nice dress, black with little flowers, that looked perfect and was cheap, so I grabbed it and went to look for my business clothes. By then I thought it could only get better.
Instead it got worse.

Obviously they just don’t have a sale, they have nothing but a sale. Which wouldn’t be too bad if they’d only left the clothes where they were before the sale. Which they didn’t. They arranged the clothes in a new way, which summed up could be described as: ‚All the blazers here and the trousers… heck, put them there in the back, yeah, right across the floor. Gee, I can’t even see them anymore. Yep. Leave them there.‘

Do I need to tell you that I came back to work empty handed?

At first I tried. I looked through the blazers and found one I liked, then I searched for matching trousers. Didn’t work. Then I tried it the other way round. I looked through the trousers, found some I liked and tried to find the matching blazer. Didn’t work either. After a short while of trial and error I gave up. It was no use, really. I don’t have a lot of patience with clothes shopping as it is, but browsing through clothes endlessly just in hope to find a matching pair of trousers which most possibly doesn’t even exist didn’t occur to me as the thing I’d like to do for the next few hours.

I was willing to pay a lot of money, guys. So, your discount looks nice, yeah, but I actually rather would like to find some clothes.
As in matching clothes.

I thought I’d take part. If you want to try, click here.

Yoda – Star Wars (Shut up! You thought it, too.)
Mensa – Really bad food
Pink – I admit, that I like her. It’s P!nk though.
Text message – The tenant who uses it constantly to drive us crazy.
Galactic – Galaxy Quest (The movie, yes. Again: Shut. Up.)
Chicks – …with guitars.
Quesadilla – Huh? I know it’s food.
Backpack – Thanks, but no.
Socket – Here they left her.
Compromise – Always welcome. I’m Libra after all.

And next week will be even more fun.
By the way, can you tell that I’m at work and really bored? I thought so.

No, there has been no news on the marriage front since the last episode. Still I thought I might give you some more on this particular topic.

So I decided to do the following: Ten Reasons Why We Should Get Married
Unfortunately I could only come up with three good reasons and one extremely good reason.

Three Good Reasons and One Extremely Good Reason Why We Should Get Married

1) We would save on taxes.
2) It would make my grandmother really happy.
3) I could finally get rid of my last name, which I never learned to like.
4) I can’t see a single reason why not.

You see, the deal is done. Nothing can stop me. And I will keep you updated when there is real news to share with the rest of the world.