I’m always amazed when I hear a cover song of a song I always thought of as uncoverable. I always choose songs that are very songwritery and therefore rather easy to play on the piano and I do a pretty awesome interpretation of Leonard Cohen’s Famous Blue Raincoat, if I may say so.

But just listen to what Sara Bareilles does with Take On Me and you do agree with me that that’s kind of really cool and actually very amazing, don’t you?

Looking good is all that I can say right now. Hopefully it stays that way. And yes, I’m still extremely nervous and easy to irritate. I must be a real source of fun and joy to be working (and living) with right now.

I just hope I can enjoy our week in Krakow as much as I should. But there should be lots of restaurants and cafés for us to forget about the recent worries for a bit.

For the first time in a very, very, very long time I’m so nervous and worried that I’m feeling sick. I never thought that buying an apartment would do that to me, but apparently it does. Fortunately the husband is a lot less nervous and worried. And that’s a really good thing, because otherwise we’d just be two nervous wrecks constantly finding new things to worry about.

I just wish it would all be over (and with a happy end, mind you) now.

On the plus side my cell phone now sounds like the phones at CTU from 24 when it rings. Awesome. I’m so cool and the husband is oh-so-very jealous.

I find this both irritating and fascinating, but the Velvet Underground’s „Stephanie Says“ and „Sunday Morning“ are really basically the same song. The thing is, I like them both very much and considering that they are both originally by the same band, it’s not really melody stealing. Or is it?

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I have this wonderful „I’ve Made a Huge Mistake“ shirt in remembrance of my beloved Arrested Development, and I can’t wear it, because walking around with that statement printed on your chest while you’re trying to buy an apartment just seems like very aggressive jinxing to me. And I’m really careful about not jinxing anything. In fact I’m carrying the presumably lucky cent I found a few days ago around with me whenever I wear jeans.

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This is not summer here. It’s grey and cold and constantly raining. It’s a joke.

—

One of my American co-workers complained about this being her worst fourth of July ever. I kinda feel for her. Although we really don’t celebrate our national holiday, so I’m not sure if I actually can relate that much. I’m sorry anyway. Like I feel that as a German I might be personally responsible for the sucky weather and the lack of fireworks.

At least I can say now that I have run more often that back then when I thought I would keep up with it. This might also be because I finally let Liz coax me into signing up for the 10K in September. Now of course I might need new running shoes and all, but this might also be the motivation I need to keep up doing some working out. I mean, I wouldn’t want to cross out my name on the list so that everyone at work can see what a coward I am.

Apart from that most of the time I am nervous thinking about money. I only read sporadically, I don’t eve watch a lot of TV. I’m busy being a wreck. Everybody tells me not to worry too much, but I do. I need to calm down and not be a nervous wreck any longer. Sheesh. Let’s hope I’ll be less of a wreck by tomorrow. I really, really want this apartment and I can’t have no bank denying me that. So I’ll keep my fingers crossed here.

So far nothing’s settled, but everything looks good. I’ll let you know more when I feel safe talking about it. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t trust things that run too smoothly. I fear that something’s going to happen and that by bragging too much and being too enthusiastic and/or optimistic I’m gonna jinx it somehow. And then it will be all my fault. Yeah, I know it’s crazy, but I can’t help it.

One thing I can tell you, though, is that I was right when I said that you know it’s the right apartment. You just know. I am already way too much in love with what we found and that’s dangerous because I’m basically emotionally involved with an apartment and I’m not sure if I could handle a break-up. On the bright side I’m positive that this is the right one, so at least there are no doubts. And I can’t really tell what would be worse.

It’s 2 am and we just got back from a game night. A friend from work invited us and we played three rounds of „Shadows over Camelot“ which, after some initial confusion, turned out to be an awesome game.

Now I have a little math quiz for you. If one out of eight cards is a traitor and you play three rounds of a game, how big (or rather, slim) are the chances that you get to be the traitor every damn time? Freaking slim, you might guess. Turns out I am very good at beating the odds on this one.

It’s very exhausting to be constantly nervous. And it doesn’t get better, it really doesn’t. Actually it’s getting worse. But don’t be worried, so far everything is quite okay here. I can only hope it stays that away.

Waiting right now is just driving me crazy. I keep telling myself that it’s totally normal, that everything is and will be okay, that it doesn’t mean anything at all, damn it, and it still is driving me crazy.

It doesn’t help that the husband has a job in Frankfurt from Monday to Thursday for the next two weeks and all I have is this silence reminding me of the phone call that hasn’t happened yet. Did I mention the crazy, by the way? The other thing I have is actually training for the 10k I’ll probably ever sign up for anyway, but I did go running today and I plan to keep it up, which in my screwed-up world means nothing at all. But a girl can always hope, can’t she.

Especially when if she couldn’t, she’d go downright crazy in a nanosecond.

Breathe in. Breathe out. God, I hate this.

You can have an amazingly good time at McDonald’s if you just try hard enough. Or maybe you need a nice enough McDonald’s. Who knows.