Ready… Set… Limp!
I bought new shoes today for Friday. I didn’t want to spend too much, but we found some nice ones that actually fit with the dress plus I can wear them to any regular work outfit, so hopefully it’s money well spent. The bad news is I really have to get used to these shoes, so when we got home I put them on rightaway and limped through the apartment, enduring great pain. But I figured, that this would be the only way to get used to these shoes in time. Maybe it’ll help and I won’t look and walk like a complete idiot on Friday.
My mother will come by tomorrow morning with fruit cake. I totally forgot that Howard is here this week and we didn’t have a chance to see him yet. But since it is his birthday on Sunday and we are invited we will get to see him at least once before he leaves for Australia again. So we will have a weekend full of social events. First the wedding, then Howie’s birthday. At least Monday’s a holiday, so I will get at least one day to relax. But who am I to say? I stayed home nearly all week. I really should be quiet.
I still can’t figure out what I want to do. With my life that is… I went to university, then quit without any degree, then started the training which will be over in January with no real job prospect (at least that’s what it seems to me). I really have to start applying, but I still don’t have any good photographs and we haven’t found time to take some so far. I hate the applying process here, it’s just a waste of energy and money. Why do I need a photograph anyway? Nobody should choose applicants by the picture. It’s mostly the „Do-they-know-the-rules“-game they are playing. And I know the rules, that’s for sure. They just don’t make any sense. But whining doesn’t help finding a job. Applying helps, although I’m a little pessimist right now. I also don’t know if I want to do what I’ve been trained for the last two and a half years. I mean, I like computers, I like programming, that’s all fine. But at the moment I just don’t know if that’s what I want to do. Problem is, I have no official training in anything else.
Now here’s my main problem. I’m interested in too many things. I love languages so much, that I think maybe I should become an interpreter or teach languages at school or just go abroad and take a simple job there. Then again I really like programming, so maybe I should work on getting a good job there and try to get really good at it. And then I think maybe I should do something creative, whatever that might be, maybe create webpages or try to get a job in the TV branch. Hell, I even thought about trying to become an actor or an air-traffic- controller. Or I could go back to university and try something else and stick with it. Question is: Do I want to earn a lot of money or do I prefer to just do what I want (which might mean go back to university), do I want to stay here or should we try the risk and go to another country? What the hell do I want? I thought about becoming a highschool teacher for English and Math but that might mean that I would have to spend some more years studying for a job that would restrict me in many ways (but might also be fun in many ways). I always wanted to go to another country (preferably English-speaking, but that’s not a must – I even though about Finland) and live there but I don’t know if I can ever get myself to actually do that. I’m afraid that I might regret my laziness. I’m 24 and I feel old and I whine about that on my blog. You don’t need to tell me how pathetic that is, because believe me: I know.
Happy things:
The shoes fit with the dress and I found a cardigan that goes with it, so my outfit is complete. We made a CD collection complete with labels and inlays and it looks really good.
My Arrested Development DVD-Box arrived today and I didn’t have to pay for customs.
I met a really old friend from elementary school today. She recognized me and called my name, which amazed me. Haven’t I changed during the last 14 years? The funny thing was that I recognized her immediately when I saw her, but I was so stunned that I just thought that I was wrong. People really don’t change that much, it seems.
Current mood: Better and not quite as whiny. I’m really excited about the wedding (obviously, since I talk about it on nearly every blog, but hey, those are my really good friends getting married, so let me be excited!)
Listening to: The sound of the TV from the living room, where I will head to NOW.