Cleaning
These last few weeks have been extraordinary exhausting for me. Not because so much was happening, but more because I have been (and still am) busy to figure out what’s going on in my life.
I have a week off next week and hopefully this will allow me to get it together and make everything a bit less messy than it is right now. Please don’t get me wrong, everything’s fine here. I have had some fun last weekend and I do okay during the week. I’m just not exactly sure what is going to happen these next months. I’m also not sure what I want to happen and all this not-knowing stresses me out a bit.
I need to get my room clean. I need to get my computer clean. I need to get my desk clean. I need to get my head clean. That’s a hell of a lot of cleaning I have to do, but then I am absolutely sure, everything will be good. And if I’m really really lucky I will be able to see things a bit clearer.
The study plans still stand. Do I know if that’s the right thing to do? Hell, no. I have no idea, if that’s what I should do. But I want to do it and that’s what counts. There’s also been some changes with my husbands work, changes we need to figure out and deal with. If it’s bad or good we don’t know yet. It will all show it time. But of course that added to me being stressed out and insecure about what the next move should be.
I’m happy with what I have at home. My husband, my friends, my family, my things. That’s all fine. I’m disappointed to the point of unhappy with what I have at work. My co-workers are fine, the work is okay, too. I’m just pretty sure that this isn’t my dream job. Will translating be? I don’t know. But it seems probable and that’s possibly the best I can ever get. So I’ll take it. Maybe I won’t even end up translating. Maybe I’ll end up writing or working for a publisher or teaching languages or whatever there is that I could do. Staying where I am, though, is not an option. Not for long.
So, here I am. I’m planning to try out podcasting soon. My husband promised to get me one of these all-inclusive-starter-kits and I am already thinking about what I will talk about first and what I will call it and everything. The thought of it makes me happy. Let’s hope it works out.
Starting Saturday I will have ten days with no work. While I plan to spend some time doing all the media-junkie stuff I so love, I will also try to use it carefully and get some things straight and clear.
I’ll be cleaning.