Because I Have Neither Shame Nor Truly Original Ideas
This is stolen from srah. But it’s not like it’s my fault that all the good ideas are taken already.
Note: Somehow this post slipped into private mode. I don’t know how it happened, so just know that this was by accident and never intended.
The Amazing 2007 Harry Potter Live Blogging Event at Here Be Subtlety
(and seriously, what else are you supposed to do when you just came home from Poland?)
First impression: What? Only 600 pages? I’ve been duped. This will be over in no time.
Second impression: We don’t have any snacks in the house. This is understandable, considering we were away for a week, but in no way acceptable. I think I need to go snack shopping first.
Third impression: I don’t like the cover. This is actually more like the very-first impression because I’ve thought that the first time I saw the cover somewhere on this thing called internet and I really didn’t like it and I still don’t. I’m sure that all the gold coins and jewels will play a role somewhere in the book and the cover will make sense in one way or the other, but I still don’t like it. I’m sure there’s something important in the book that would have made a better cover. Alas, that’s what you get for insisting on getting the „children’s“ version of the book.
Chapter One: (9) Please, don’t let Snape be evil. Don’t let Snape be evil. Don’t let Snape be evil. He’s just pretending, right? Right? RIGHT? Don’t let Snape be evil. Dontletsnapebeevil.
(15) I love it when a Malfoy gets humiliated. Even more when it’s several of them at once.
(17) I never know whether I’ve just forgotten about a character or whether it’s a newly introduced character. Charity Burbage doesn’t ring a bell. I guess there’s never been a lot in the books about Muggle classes after all. Also, Draco is a lame excuse for a Death Eater. Boo, Draco!
(18) Wow, page 18 and we already have a killing. This is fast.
Chapter Two: (19) Harry is a slob. You haven’t cleared out your trunk in six years? Seriously. My bag is a mess, but at least I clean it out every now and then (translate: every few months or so).
(20) You can’t really burn a cauldron, can you?
(23) Wow, Dumbledore didn’t lead the happiest life. And why doesn’t the spell checker recognize Dumbledore? Get with the program, dude.
(24) Imagining a stupid Hermione is not odd, it’s impossible.
(26) See, Rita Skeeter can write 900 pages about Dumbledore easily. So why again is this book only 600 pages long?
(28) Will be learn more about Dumbledore’s sister and mother in chapters nine and twelve? Because that would be really cool. (I hate Rita Skeeter. As if that weren’t obvious.)
Chapter Three: (34) Oooh, I’d love to see some wizard CVs. Can’t I have some? I bet they’re fun to read.
(35) My world just crashed. Dudley said something reasonable.
(36) ‚Utterly bamboozled‘. Hee. I wonder how I can use this phrase in everyday language.
(39) My world just crashed again. Dudley said something nice.
Chapter Four: (43) Yay! Hermione and Ron finally make their appearance.
(44) There are so many great characters there now. I’m really afraid that not all of them will survive. I don’t trust you, J. K. Rowling.
(46) Wait, wait, wait. Now who said what about Harry being moved when in chapter one? Oh, damn, so far Snape fed Voldemort correct information. Please don’t let Snape be evil.
(47) Fred and George are awesome.
(54) So much action and now so many spells. I’m feeling a little dizzy. And poor Hedwig. I hate it when pets die.
(57) Accio Hagrid??? How’s that supposed to work, then? He’s a half-giant, Harry. You’re not going to accio him anything.
Chapter Five: (58) Phew. Hagrid’s fine. I really have trust issues with this book. I expect about anything to happen.
(59) Should I know what an aspidistra is or is this a Rowling invention?
(61) Waaaa! What happened to the others? Hermione! Ron! Hermione! Weasleys!
(64) Does that mean that Harry’s signature move might be a lame disarming spell. Harry, watch out. There must be cooler spells around.
(66) No, Snape, NOOOO! I still believe in you, so stop cursing off other people’s body parts. Can’t you show your fake (FAKE!) loyalty to Voldemort in less drastic ways?
(67) ‚I’m holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?‘ Hee. That’s my George.
(70) I wonder if there’s something wrong here. Who’s Snape’s source? Is he currently among those who returned to the burrow? Is Mad-Eye really dead (which would be the third death and yes I am counting pets and never-before-mentioned teachers)? Is Mundungus the spy? Or is it somebody else? Well?
(74) I don’t understand all this wand business. Maybe I should really re-read the last Harry Potter before reading a new one. It always seems as if I forgot about everything. Or maybe I haven’t and this is just new stuff. But how am I supposed to tell it apart. I still don’t understand this wand business. Am I supposed to?
Chapter Six: (77) Identifying a sock sounds like really serious business here.
(80) Mmmm. Apple tart. Am I the only when who thinks of Hobbits when there is apple tart served at The Burrow?
(82) Ugh. Roonil handkerchief. Don’t take it, Hermione. It’s sweet and caring and all, but don’t take it!
(83) Okay, it’s kind of clean now. So you can take it after all.
(84) Why does Travels with Trolls go on the discarded pile? What are you going to do if you actually need to travel with a troll? Oh, wait a moment, was this a Gilderoy Lockhart book? Then it should have been discarded years ago. Only I understand why Hermione never got rid of it, because I know the feeling. I have a hard time discarding books I don’t really like as well.
Side note: So I don’t know what is going to happen, but I’m really sad there probably isn’t going to be any Hogwarts in this book. I love Hogwarts.
(86) Can’t they just prepare the whole wedding using magic? I mean, what’s the point of being a wizard if you still need to polish cutlery?
(89) Oooooh, Horcrux explanations. ‚Bout damn time. Is this kind of a Buffy-Vampire thing? You know, ripping your soul (or having none) and feeling remorse to become human-like. (You don’t expect me to make a lot of sense right now, do you?)
(93) Oh dear. The Weasleys go wedding-maniacal. What fun.
Chapter Seven: (96) Is casting a spell the first thing in the morning of your birthday the same as drinking a shot of Wodka for a Muggle teenager turning 18 (or 21 for you poor guys over there)? And if yes, do we need to worry about Harry becoming a magic addict like Willow in season six of Buffy? And why to I keep comparing Harry Potter with Buffy? There’s not a lot of similarities there.
(97) Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches? Bold move, Ron. You are aware that Harry still kind of has the hots FOR YOUR SISTER!
(99) See above. ‚…she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before…‘ DIDN’T I TELL YOU, RON?!? Sheesh.
(102) I like Mokeskin. I think my bag is made of Mokeskin, because I don’t believe that anyone but me could get my keys out of there. Or my wallet. But that could also be because it’s so messy and things get buried under more things. Or maybe it’s made of Mokeskin.
(105) I love it when Hermione is being awesome. Go, Hermione!
Chapter Eight: This feels a bit like book four, when we first had more than a hundred pages about the Quidditch World Cup. Only this time there have been (maybe) three people killed already. But still, while this book is awesome so far it doesn’t feel like it has really started. I guess/hope/suppose after the wedding then.
(115) Cousin Barny! LOL! Can I call him Swarley, then? Maybe this is my train of thoughts. Weasleys – red hair – Alyson Hannigan (American Pie 2 is on tonight, by the way) – Buffy resp. How I Met Your Mother. The strange comparisons are all Alyson’s fault.
Also, bees and butterflies never hover lazily. It just doesn’t happen. I’ve never seen a lazy bee. Ever.
(117) Yay for Lovegoods and gnome saliva.
Side note: I now have changed my position and moved the laptop as in I’m now lying on my stomach and the laptop is sitting on the husband’s pillow. I wonder if he actually expects to be able to sleep in his bed tonight. Huh.
(118) If you want to sing opera I hear you should go to Britain’s Got Talent. Just sayin‘.
(119) One more reason to sympathize with Hermione. I’m constantly told that I have bad posture. No skinny ankles though.
Now that’s a magical wedding.
(130) Please don’t also shatter my belief in Dumbledore. And please don’t let Snape be evil.
(133) Now it’s really starting. I think. At least it’s getting a bit more creepy.
Chapter Nine: (134) This has just occurred to me. Did we have speaking Patronuses (Patroni?) before? I though they were just beautiful and protective, not really communicative. But perhaps that’s just another thing that slipped my memory.
(135) How practical does that Undetectable Extension Charm sound? Very indeed, I’d say. Can I has one, pleez? Also, ’stacked by subject‘? God, I love Hermione.
(139) If Hermione claims to never have used a Memory Charm, how did she charm her parents into believing they wanted to live in Australia and forget they had a daughter? What would that be called then, if not a Memory Charm?
(140) ‚I’d like nothing better than to meet Snape.‘ Me too, me too!
(142) Spooky houses are spooky. As if that weren’t obvious. For a moment I thought that Mad-Eye Moody was still alive, but this doesn’t seem to be the case. Too bad.
Chapter Ten: (148) Girls and motorcycles. Astonishing things are revealed today. But now that we have talked about Sirius’s past, why not return to Dumbledore’s?
(149) Awwwww. Baby Harry had a baby broom. How cute is that? Also, a mysterious letter. Why don’t I ever get mysterious letters?
(155) Toujours Pur is a strange motto. I’m not even sure if it’s grammatically correct (assuming that it’s French).
(158) Mundungus Fletcher is very suspicious, which makes me nearly sure that he’s not a traitor, but rather a red herring. Who’s the damn traitor then?
I think I am going to sleep now. I’ll never find a chapter’s end that’s fitted for a night’s break anyway. Damn you, cliffhangers.
Chapter Eleven: I somehow read on after I switched off the computer, so there will be no detailed account of my thoughts on this chapter. It was its usual awesomy awesomeness if you really need to know.
Chapter Twelve: (185) Kreacher is friendly? At least to Harry he is. Now let’s read on and see whether he is also friendly to Hermione. He should be considering how she feels about elves (NO, not like this!). It’s like me and dogs. I always feel insulted if a dog doesn’t love me, because I’m such a dog person and aren’t dogs supposed to somehow know that?
(186) Snape confirmed as Hogwarts headmaster? Yes! But somehow I’m disappointed that we get so many references to Snape, but so little Snape in person. And please don’t let Snape be evil. It’s all part of his plan, right? The non-evil world-saving plan, right?
(189) Is Unspekables code for Death-Eaters or is this just another thing I don’t understand?
(191) Hey, grammatically correct German. I salute you, Rowling. Or your proof-reader.
(200) Eek, you picked a wrong Ministry worker. He’s supposed to hold hands with his wife today, Ron! This sounds so bad and tragic.
(205) ‚Old hag‘. Hee. At least we’re not alone with our hate for Umbridge. Somehow that fills me with hope.
(206) Waaaaa! Umbridge’s office is like a bad and tasteless Cute Overload.
(209) But why doesn’t Harry stay to read the note Thicknesse has written? That could be a clue. Stupid Harry will never make a good P.I.
(215) Oh, Harry, don’t you ever learn? If you’re so keen on protecting your friends, why do you insist on blowing all your covers just because you’re angry?
Chapter Fourteen: (225) How cool would be to have a magical tent if you go on a camping trip? I love this magical world. I won’t to have extensible bags and enchanted tents and everything. No Death-Eaters though if you please.
(232) I would suspect that the young bloke is Aberforth, but that could only be because I want all these Dumbledore mysteries to be explained. There are so many mysteries in this book and it’s only 600 pages. I want answers, damnit.
Side note: I just had breakfast. A slice of bread with honey and a tasty glass of milk. And I don’t care that it’s already past noon.
Chapter Fifteen: (234) Awwww. Harry’s burying Mad-Eye’s eye. That’s so sweet. And kind of gross. But still really sweet.
Also, mmmmm…. bacon sandwich. And again I’m thinking of Hobbits at the mention of food. What’s wrong with me?
(235) And how can I not think of Hobbits when the locket has a very similar effect on Harry than the ring has in LotR? This is not good.
(236) I usually get very grumpy and tense when I’m hungry so I could have told them that an empty stomach means ‚bickering and gloom‘.
(239) They sure get to see a lot of England, it seems. If they weren’t trying to save the world or something similar, this would be an awesome road trip. And I’m actually pretty sure that the thief is Aberforth. Then again, I’m never good at Whodunnits. Most of the times I just pick a random person and sometimes I’m right thanks to probability.
(242) Someone’s coming… will they be good or evil. Gee, I hope good, because the three of them are starting to get on my nerves, and they really could need some company.
(244) Wheee! Ginny stole the sword. Or not. Whatever. I love Ginny. Everything she does is great.
(245) This is good company plus awesome goblins. I’m happy.
(248) Yay for Neville and Luna! I hate that we get to see so little of Hogwarts. And Snape should know that working with Hagrid would be no punishment at all, so there’s a glimmer of hope on the Snape side. He’s not evil, right?
(251) Ron, you’re seventeen. GROW UP!
(254) No, seriously.
Chapter Sixteen: (255) I’d like to point out to Hermione that this is not Harry’s fault.
(258) How much is ten thousand Galleons anyway? An awful lot or an awful AWFUL lot?
(263) I wonder what the Dursleys are doing now. All this Muggle talk made me remember them.
(266) Christmas Eve on a cemetery. How… romantic? Is this treasure quotation a clue? Are we really looking fo a treasure? I still don’t like the cover of the book.
(268) I’m not sure how clever it is to walk around the cemetery looking for your parents‘ grave unprotected and basically alone. Sounds like an invitation for an attack to me.
Hey, Harry’s parents are about the same age my parents are and Harry… seems to be only a bit younger than me??? Huh? I guess that’s what happens if you need more than a year to write a new book, J. K. Rowling.
Chapter Seventeen: I hope we get some answers now. At least a few. Please, Bathilda.
(275) I told you it was Aberforth. Or did I miss something?
(278) Eeeeek. Snakes on a plane!
(284) Oh noes! Broken wand. That’s not good, not good at all. It makes me all sad and a bit nostalgic.
Chapter Eighteen: This sounds very promising. I wonder if we get some good Dumbledore stories (and true ones) now.
(288) So the thief is Grindelwald. So I was wrong. Again. But maybe that was obvious because Aberforth really had dark hair or something and I just missed that part. But I still like to believe that I was close. See, at least I knew it was someone within Skeeter’s book.
(291) But there is no original letter on page 463. Darn.
(293) Did we actually learn something new here? I’m the tiniest bit disappointed.
Chapter Nineteen: (297) I bet Ron regrets that he left by now. Look at how sad these two are together. It’s so depressing. Stupid Ron, I hope you’re comfy being cared for by Mummy, while Hermione had to fight Vol… YOU-KNOW-WHO. But now as I think of it, I bet Ron is up to something. If he’d gone home, Mrs. Weasley would have sent him to Hogwarts for sure. Since he’s not there… WHERE IS HE?
I just realized that we don’t know whether he’s at Hogwarts or not. I’m so confused.
(298) Oh Harry, always wandering off alone. I hope it’s not a trap. AGAIN!
(300) What now? Harry’s undressing in the middle of the night in the middle of the forest in the middle of winter? For what? Did I miss one of the many meanings of chivalry? I guess I’ll have to read on to find out.
(301) Jumping naked into an ice-cold pool is so, so, so stupid. Why is Harry always so stupid?
(302) Why didn’t he take off the Horcrux, Ron? Because he’s stupid, that’s why.
(304) Wait now, you’re going to destroy the Horcrux without Hermione with you? Dimwits. She’ll never forgive you. I know I wouldn’t.
(306) Wow. Boys are losers. Hermione and Ginny would have destroyed the damn thing by now.
(309) Hermione said arse. Hee. She must really love Ron.
Side note: It’s 2:30 pm now. In case you were wondering.
Chapter Twenty: I love Lovegoods. This is going to be good.
(313) I’m not sure if I followed that right, but how many Horcruxes do we have left now? Four, right? The diary, that one thing that I don’t remember, but has been mentioned before in this book and the locket have been destroyed. So that leaves us with four. Which is still an awful lot if you have no idea whatsoever what they might be and where they are.
(317) If Gandalf came back, why can’t Dumbledore? I’m just saying. Or maybe Dumbledore really was eeeevil. That’s the theory of someone at work after all: Harry dies, Snape is good, Dumbledore is evil. I agree with the second part, but I won’t have nothing to do with either the first of the last.
(323) All this plant talk makes me miss Neville. We’re going to get some Neville later, right?
(325) I wonder if that horn can destroy a Horcrux. Is Xenophilius good or evil? I’m hoping good, but you never know anymore.
(328) The first mention of the Deathly Hallows. Dun-dun-dun.
Chapter Twenty-One: (329) Oooooh, a quest. Like the Holy Grail maybe? So where are the coconuts?
(333) Well, of course the Deathly Hallows exist, Hermione. YOU’VE GOT ONE IN YOUR BEADED SUPER-BAD, REMEMBER?
Also, I hope Luna is okay. I’m not sure if I believe the Plimpies story either.
(337) ‚Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger…‘ Yeah. How can you not misunderstand that sentence? Hee.
It just dawned on me that Vol… YOU-KNOW-WHO might be looking for the Super Wand.
(338) Awwwww. Luna has painted all her friends. That’s so adorable and sweet and CUTE OVERLOAD!
(339) AAAAH! WHERE’S LUNA?
(341) So Lovegood isn’t eeeevil, he just wants to get his daughter back. Poor Lovegood. I guess Harry has a new mission now: Save Luna! Go, Harry.
Chapter Twenty-Two: (348) Maybe the stone is inside the Snitch. Just a wild guess. (All my guesses are wild, because – as you have already seen – I’m very bad at Whodunnits or Whoputwhatsinwhats.)
(350) At least Harry agrees with my guesses. But since he has proved to act so very stupidly before, I’m not sure what that means.
(354) Three Horcruxes left? Were they only six, not seven? Or did I miss the destruction of one? Or is Ron just really bad at math?
(355) If you can just guess the password, how secure is that supposed to be?
(356) Oh no! More deaths. And I like Tonkses, just because.
(358) Oh, Hagrid, I miss you. Glad to hear that you’re okay. Supposedly.
(359) FRED AND GEORGE! This makes me all so happy.
(360) Oh, great Harry. You’re so stupid. AGAIN!
Chapter Twenty-Three: (363) Swarley Weasley again. Very clever to use your real last name, Ron. Very clever indeed.
(367) Harry, this is all your fault. Let’s see how you’re going to look for your preciousssss Hallows now, huh?
(370) Eek. Identified by Draco. How humiliating. AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, HARRY!
(372) Could Draco after all be not-that-very-evil? I’m also thrilled that they have the wrong wand. Stupid Snatchers.
(374) Hee. Now they’re all being stupid. Stupid Malfoys, stupid Snatchers. This is nearly fun.
(375) HERMIONE! HERMIONE! HERMIONE!
(376) LUNA! YES!
(377) AAAAAAAH! HERMIONE!
(379) DOBBY! (This is all both horrifying and awesome.)
(382) Wait, does that mean that Grindelwald is dead? Also: HERMIONE!
(384) Dobby! He saved Harry Potter and his friends! Brave Dobby! Good Dobby!
(385) Oh noes! Poor Dobby! And there they finally were, the tears. Sniff.
Chapter Twenty-Four: (387) Dumbledore had foreseen… what?… when? I’m so lost.
(388) Luna is so sweet. I love Luna.
(390) Wait, wasn’t Muriel the evil aunt? Why do they all go there? Aren’t there any other safe places left?
So, it could have been Dumbledore who saved them after all. Dumbledore, the White. Obviously.
(397) Ollivander had been held for more than a year? I don’t get the timeline of this book. Or maybe he disappeared in book six and I just forgot.
(401) Recreating spells sounds like searching through someone’s browser history. I’m such a geek for immediately thinking about this.
(405) Eek. Dumbledore corpse. Will that be in the movie? Also: SNAPE!
Side note: And it is now 5 pm.
Chapter Twenty-Five: (409) The sword belongs to the goblins! Why do I agree to quickly with this? I know nothing about goblins. I shouldn’t trust them. Maybe I shouldn’t trust anybody. What if it turns out that one of my beloved characters is in fact eeeeevil? What then?
(410) Oh, Ron, don’t be stupid. Griphook is a goblin. Of course he’ll recognize a fake.
(411) I hate not-lying. I hate lying more, but not-lying is nearly as bad. Too bad I agree that this is maybe what needs to be done.
(413) If Fleur says ‚zat‘, shouldn’t she also say ‚zings‘? Boo for lack of accent-continuity.
(415) It’s a haircolour-changing werewolf baby boy! Yay for Tonks and Lupin. I like it when there are happy scenes amidst all this depressing gloom.
Chapter Twenty-Six: (420) How small is this bag to fit inside a sock? I’m impressed.
(421) It’s already May. Wow, time flies by fast.
(428) Wands serve as identification. How cool is that? But also, doesn’t that make identity theft really easy?
(432) I really don’t see why they needed Griphook after all. So far all he really did was being a burden. And what useful information did he actually provide?
Oh, okay. Now he actually has useful information. So I’ll just shut up.
(434) I wonder if we are now getting to the part that ‚inspired‘ the cover designer. Bad cover.
(437) I’m not sure, but I think that without Hermione, Harry would be long dead.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: (441) Ew. Swimming through mud. Note to self: never climb on a dragon when you don’t know where it’s going.
(443) If Vol… YOU-KNOW-WHO suspects Dumbledore that must mean that Dumbledore is good. I’m so relieved. Although I still believe that anything can happen. History has taught me so.
Also, I always suspected that Vol… YOU-KNOW-WHO would feel it when a Horcrux was destroyed. But apparently not. I guess this is good, since he doesn’t know that others have been destroyed already.
(444) So Nagini is a Horcrux and what else? I guess that will remain a mystery for now. It also sounds as if the last Horcrux isn’t an actual person, which… I don’t know… is a good thing?
Chapter Twenty-Eight: (450) Saved by the barman. Hello barman. I must admit that I hoped they were saved by Snape, but alas, that didn’t happen.
(451) Wheeeee! Aberforth. Aberforth is the barman! I completely forgot about him. And was he a barman in Hogsmeade for all that time? And nobody recognized him? Strange. Now let’s see if we can solve some of the Dumbledore mysteries. (For the record: I don’t get stupid when I’m hungry. Just irritable and annoying.)
(459) NEVILLE! (And the rest of the chapter was good, too.)
Chapter Twenty-Nine: (461) Just when I was wondering where this secret passage was all these years, Ron asks the same question. Thank you, Ron.
(463) Neville is so cool. He totally deserves to be leader of Dumbledore’s Army.
(464) Neville’s gran seems equally cool. Yay for Longbottoms!
(465) I love all the praise that Neville gets. NEVILLE’S THE MAN!
(466) What, there’s a diadem now? What about the tiara? Was that the same thing? I’m so confused.
(473) How can you be so stupid, Harry? I don’t understand this. Don’t you ever learn?
Chapter Thirty: SNAPE!
(474) I love Luna. I think I’ve mentioned that before, haven’t I?
(475) McGonagall! I love Hogwarts! I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed it until now.
(476) McGonagall is awesome. Why would a Gryffindor try to get inside Ravenclaw Tower indeed. Potter belongs to McGonagall and McGonagall alone.
(477) Luna is awesome again. I suppose I’ll just stick to taking notes when someone does or says something awesome. Which will be on every page, but still.
(478) Now McGonagall is awesome again. I told you.
(480) Did we know that McGonagall’s patronus was cats? It really fits, but I can’t remember if that was mentioned before.
Aaaaaand… to everyone’s greatest delight (well, not Harry’s): SNAPE!
(484) Oooooh, there’s going to be fighting and rebellion in Hogwarts. This chapter is so cool.
(487) Awwww. Little Lupin has turquoise hair. Also, raise your hand if you don’t believe that Ginny is really leaving Hogwarts. Yeah, I thought so. But now I’m afraid of who has to die. About everybody is there now (which is great somehow), so I guess everybody’s in danger. That doesn’t sound good.
Weasley-Reunion! This chapter is awesome.
Side note: It is now 7:08 pm. Thought I’d keep you updated a bit.
Chapter Thirty-One: (491) It’s good to know that nearly everybody is on Harry’s side. Slytherins stink! And AWWWWW, little Colin wants to fight!
(492) Thanks to srah, I now wonder if Moaning Myrtle plays an important role. I don’t remember much about Ravenclaw, so I have no idea what the Horcrux could be.
(496) So, it is the diadem, it seems. Right when I thought it would be something completely else.
(498) Yes, where ARE Ron and Hermione?
(501) Another Horcrux down. Which leaves us with… two? And we have a Basilisk fang, which sounds really bad, but is really good. And Hermione got to destroy the Horcrux. I’m so glad and I totally agree that she deserved to do it.
(502) Fighting Granny Longbottom!
Also…. WAAAAAA! Ron and Hermione snogging. It’s finally happened!
(504) So apparently, Vol… YOU-KNOW-WHO is an idiot. Duh.
(506) Crabbe is an idiot, too, which is not very surprising, but I’m always glad to have some proof.
(510) I just hope that Draco really is kind of not so evil now. Otherwise saving him really was a waste of energy.
(512) A dead Weasley. And a twin at that! NOOOOOOO!
Chapter Thirty-Two: (513) I think I should be crying, but I’m not. There’s too much happening and it’s happening all so fast.
(516) ‚Go and fetch Snape.‘ Yes, I would very much like that, thank you. There’s been too little Snape in this book.
(518) I really don’t know what to think about Draco anymore. Is he good? Evil? As confused about that as I am?
(519) Trelawney is throwing crystal balls. How awesome is that? I bet Hermione would enjoy that a lot if she wasn’t so busy, you know, fighting for her life.
(526) Finally we get to see some Snape. And now I wonder whether he put some protective spell on Harry. Yes, I’m still clinging to the hope that Snape is not evil.
(528) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chapter Thirty-Three: (530) Oh dear, now I’m afraid of the body count. I hope no-one I really like is among the dead wizards. Yet.
(531) WHAT? Remus and Tonks? Remus AND Tonks??? You are really messing with me now, Rowling. And does that mean that Harry has now a child to care for? Oh dear.
(532) Despite all the tragic around I’m really excited to dive into Snape’s memory. This is going to be great! And now we’re going to see that Snape was not eeeevil. I hope.
Oh, we get at glance at Petunia as well. This is going to awesomely awesome indeed.
(537) So, Petunia wanted to go to Hogwarts, too. I actually feel sad for her. Imagine your sister gets to be a witch and can do awesome things and you can’t. I always suspected something like that.
(541) That’s a lot of flashbacks. I liked the childhood scenes. But now I want some proof that Snape isn’t wasn’t evil.
(546) I think here it comes.
(548) Ha! I knew it! Or at least that was my favorite theory I read on this thing called internet. Snape isn’t evil! Snape isn’t evil! Wheeeeee!
(552) WAAAAAAA! So Snape was actually better than Dumbledore! In a way. I’m not sure how much more of this I can’t take. And what was the first half-sentence of the letter again?
(553) Snape’s patronus is a doe. Who would have thought that?
Chapter Thirty-Four: Evil WordPress deleted my notes. Here are my last thoughts:
(564) And now… What? Is Harry dead? What’s happening? Did you also cry when all his loved ones appeared? Parents out there: DON’T GIVE THIS BOOK TO CHILDREN! Seriously.
Chapter Thirty-Five: (565) Harry is naked, and this only intrigues him? This is Equus all over again.
(566) It’s Dumbledore the Dark-Blue!
(568) What is that weird creature under the chair? It’s distracting me from all the serious Dumbledore talk.
(579) Now there were the answers I was looking for. Thanks Dumbledore. I’ll miss you. Though you’ll keep turning up, won’t you?
Chapter Thirty-Six: (580) We have a NOT-naked Harry. I repeat: Harry is NOT naked. There’s nothing to see. Move along, move along.
(581) Temporarily saved by a Malfoy. I don’t believe this.
(586) Brave Neville! Kill the snake already. All this suspense is killing me.
(587) Now I’m afraid that Neville will die. Don’t die Neville. Please don’t die. Shouldn’t Hermione and Ron do something. Something like… SAVE NEVILLE?!?
Neville is a hero! Now Grannie Longbottom can be even prouder. And where are Ron and Hermione?
(588) Fighting Elves! Eventually! Kreacher!
(589) Girl Power! I actually don’t know who I like the most, Hermione, Ginny or Luna and seeing them fight together makes me very happy. And Mrs. Weasley! Yay!
(590) Now Voldemort is angry at Molly. Everybody… SAVE MOLLY WEASLEY! NOW! (And it is save to write his name again, right?)
(594) ‚Voldemort’s hand was trembling on the Elder Wand and Harry gripped Draco’s very tightly.‘ Did anyone else wonder where Draco had come from and why the hell Harry was holding his hand? No, just me. Okay then.
(595) This wand talk is very complicated.
(596) It can’t be all the Weasleys! One of them is dead. Sniff.
(597) I love Luna.
(600) Awwwwww. Harry gets his wand repaired. And now get prepared for an Epilogue. Do I need to fear it? We’ll see.
Epilogue: (603) Oh dear, I’m crying again. But these are happy tears, people, happy tears.
(604) I love grown-up Ron. But seriously, naming your kid Hugo?!? That’s not fair. Even an awesome Lost character doesn’t justify that choice.
(606) Neville’s a professor?!? This epilogue just keeps getting better and better.
(607) And Albus‘ second name is Severus? You just want to see me cry again, right, Rowling?
And with that I am done. It’s 10:45 pm, by the way and neither Hermione nor Ginny are dead. Now I can go and do that thing called socializing again. There are other people out there, right?